No Man's Land

Going into the war was a fun experience.
With my buddies by my side, I was ready,
Ready for a life of heroism and manliness.
They told me I would be America's man,
But they never told me America's man might
Not make it home being the man he left as.

War-ridden land filled war-ridden thoughts.
Germanic depression beat lower by French
Aggression, syncopation of attacks raining down
On the heads of America's men, until America's men
Rained down onto land. And a soldier wouldn't dare
Cross the land where no man lives, death wishes
Follow dead wishes of return to the place you were born.

At least I had my buddies with me, until my buddies
Disappeared one by one, I had no one left to comfort
Me but my gun. Inhaling life through a gas mask, the
Chemicals burn my eyes like burning wood, burning flesh,
Burning souls, my burning soul telling me I made the wrong
Decision and I'll be lucky to make it out alive. Or with both legs.

They carried me away on a stretcher as a looked at the rouge area
Where an appendage used to be, they might as well should have killed
Me. Emaciated, barely breathing, the look on my life riding in the back
Of a truck I could never drive again, a stretcher not a body bag keeps
Me from certain death. With a part of me gone in the blast, I feel lifeless,
As if I deserve to be in the wooden box by my bed. "R.I.P," tell me what
Is peaceful about this? No rest for the living that's guaranteed for the dead,
I place a pillow over my head, a way of giving myself to the box given to me.
But they stop me, and the suffering continues. Will it ever end?

And so I return home. America's man has returned home, one less limb,
But still all there, or so they think. No one can erase the memories, cure
The nightmares, quiet the screams, replace the things I've lost. No one.
They didn't tell me about coming home, they didn't tell me I'd feel alone.
They didn't tell me I'd see my friends who I was sure died in front of me,
And as my eyes focus on this image I can't believe I see, I see, I see
Something missing. They come in the form of my buddies, we share a laugh
Like we used to, until they see... I see that they never made it out in one piece.
I saw them die. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in No Man's Land.

~ Kai Alexander Means

Just Because

Here I am, sitting with this girl.

We sit side-by-side, she tells me

Her story, I tell her my life...

I steal glances at her when she's not

Looking. I've never seen... and the way 

She tilts her head, looking out the window

At the darkness that has filled the room, the

Only light left to fill the void is in her rare smile. 

I can't ease her pain, but it doesn't stop me

From giving my all into listening to what she

Has to say. I grab her hand, a way to ease the tension

She feels inside, the way she looks at me with those 

Beautiful eyes, her body ticking like clocks, I don't

Want to mess up the rhythm inside her when her words

Spill out like a song. She catches her breath like she caught

My eye the first time I saw her. The moment she breaks 

Down, I break my stare, wrap my arms around her, I am

The shield that blocks the pain. Dried tears make way for a

Beautiful smile, a smile once rare, filling the dark room with

Abundant light. And now, here I am, sitting with this girl.

We sit side-by-side, she tells me her story, I tell her my life

Hasn't been the same since we became friends. I steal glances

At her when she's not looking. I've never seen someone who was

So beautiful when they cry. And the way she tilts her head...

And I give her a kiss on the forehead, for no other reason than...

"Just Because."

~ Kai Alexander Means