Rebirth

And I am reborn.

Where are we?

I thought I knew.

It seems we’ve been here,

before, maybe after the last time

I did something to feel alive.

You told me that in order to feel

joy, I must first feel pain, it doesn’t

go away, it only becomes more tolerable,

I had to let it burn like hell first.

I had to go, grab my coat to face the

harsh winters alone, this isn’t your place,

I needed to take a walk, find myself,

but I knew you’d come find me,

you always did.

Over the hill was a path, to solitude,

I didn’t plan on coming back,

only moving forward through mist

and agony, I disappeared.

But here, you never let me dissolve,

I just leave, and you save my memories.

So if it’s true that pain brings joy,

what does joy bring? Existence.

It brings feeling, winds biting at your

eyelashes, more than just gray, you see color,

warmth in the touch of a loved one,

and in the end, there was always hope.

I needed hope.                                                     

I had to make this quick, you’d come find

me, you always did, I can’t go back the same way I left.

The path through darkness led me to the river

where I proceeded to sit, green grass and sunlight,

I wanted to feel joy in this place, if it’s true, I had to find it.

I removed the knife from my pocket, a single tear drop,

dragged it across my skin, reached in and pulled out my heart,

felt it pulsating in my hand. 

And I died.

~ Kai Alexander Means